Thursday, March 7, 2013

Breaking News: Paul Revere Shot and Killed in Drone Mission

Late last night a 41 year old caucasian male was shot and killed by a drone from the Department of Homeland Security while riding his horse through Middlesex County, Massachusetts. The man, identified as Paul Revere, was found by President Obama to be an enemy combatant and imminent threat to national security.

According to sources Mr. Revere was riding his horse across the countryside to warn the citizens that the President had issued an executive order that all citizens owning semi-automatic weapons with a capacity more than 7 rounds would be guilty of a felony. Mr. Revere's representatives stated that he felt compelled to disseminate the information because this new executive order encompasses the majority of rifles and pistols owned in the US. Mr. Revere was of the opinion that the Second Amendment to the US Constitution provided the right to self protection through gun ownership.

The Obama administration released a statement early this morning that Mr. Revere was seen as an imminent threat because he was espousing dangerous ideals which could result in violent altercations. Per US Attorney General Eric Holder any enemy combatant, even if they are a US Citizen who should be protected by the US Constitution and have the right to due process, can be killed without due process if the President decides he is an imminent threat to national security. Opponents have stated that there is no clear definition of imminent threat and no single individual or group other than a jury of their peers should be deciding guilt and therefore issuing penalties, in this case, the death penalty.

Obviously this is a parody, but think about it. The King would have considered every one of our founding fathers to be an enemy combatant and imminent threat to national security. Every one of them could have been subjected to "drone strikes". And if that happened, where would we be now? That is why the US Constitution provides for protections for US citizens! And those aren't protections a President and his advisors can throw out for convenience!

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